As our parents get older they are going to need more help from us. But you may be unsure how to handle the situation. 

You need to figure out their needs and make sure that you make decisions that involve them but are also helping your parents maintain their dignity. 

What does it take when you have older parents and they need your help?

It can be overwhelming, but you may very well feel like this because you don't know what needs to be done. It's important to think about key areas in assessing their needs. One key area would be their support. For example, if they need 24/7 care but finances cannot allow you to put them in a home, you could have them move in with you. But this is when you have to start considering the budget to ensure that they are living a well-supported life, which may mean having to modify your home to incorporate an aluminum ramp for a wheelchair, as well as physical support if they need help getting in and out of the bath or shower.

Independence is important and nobody wants to lose control over their lives. Involving your parents as much as possible will help them be an equal part in the process, rather than them viewing you as someone who has taken over proceedings. While you may very well need to have power of attorney, this depends on the needs of your parent. This should only be worth considering if they are unable to make their own decisions. In any other situation, you have to involve them in the process. It may sound obvious, but there have been many people who have knocked over the years. There may have been people who you know that have gone about it in this way.

Everybody is at a different place in their lives. You may think that you can take care of all your parent’s needs by yourself because you are their child. You have to stop and think about your own situation. For example, is your health in peak condition so you can physically care for somebody? In addition to this, you may have to consider your own relationship with your parents. But you also need to ask yourself if you are willing to provide care? It is an emotionally and physically dreaming practice. 

And you have to learn to look after your wellbeing, so you can give them the care they need. But you have to remember that if you are not firing on all cylinders, this may not result in the best care for our parents. We want our parents to be healthy and safe and you will have to do some soul searching to decide if you are the best person to provide that care. It is not selfish if you think you are not up to the task, and if you want to help your parents, you have to consider some of these approaches.